Continued...
Okay, you have gotten through the gym analogy, and you buy it. Communication and leadership skills (any skills, really) are like muscles. We have to commit to learning (consuming information), showing up, and practicing.
Yes, we understand that assignment.
But OMG. The DO-ing is so boring and tedious.
Let’s work to reframe the mundane.
You are Your Greatest Experiment
- Treat Yourself Like a Science Experiment: You are both the laboratory and the scientist. Treating yourself like a science experiment does a couple of things.
- Relieves the Pressure of Perfection: It is just an experiment. We enter with our best intentions, what we think will work, and the whole point of the experiment is to see if it does.
- Shifts Your Brain to Process-Mode: Think back to your freshman biology class. Scientific method — hypothesis, experiment, analysis. The scientific method asks you to define your question, narrow the scope of your observation, set a timeline, and schedule analysis.
- Narrow Your Focus: Hooray! Amazing, inspirational keynote presentation! Thought-provoking professional development book! Crazy cool training program! Take a moment to revel in the awesome, now, focus!
- 1-3 Specific Actions: What are one to three actions that you are going to take into your real life? What specific actions can you practice? One is fantastic. No more than three at a time. For real. If you can’t remember your list, guess what, you won’t practice.
- Make it Visible: Put them on a Post-it note on your computer or your bathroom mirror. Make it the screensaver on your phone. No, really. Do it. Put your action items in a place where you will see them every day.
- Define Your Timeline: A week, a month, a quarter? How long are you going to prioritize these action items? No wrong answer, and hey, guess what? If you get into it and decide to shift your timeline, that is okay too. But setting a timeline facilitates accountability.
- Let’s be Real About Accountability: Speaking of accountability, what do your personal accountability tendencies look like? Be honest.
- Self-Accountability is RARE: Are you one of the very few people who can thrive without external accountability? Truth time. Self-accountability is extremely rare. While hard to measure, most estimates put it at less than 10% of the population. If you are one of the 10%, congratulations. You probably have a system (or many) in place to keep yourself on track. For those of us who could use a little help building systems — reminders are GOOD. Post-its. Block time on your calendar. Set notifications and reminders. Do what you need to do to keep your action items top of mind.
- Accountabil-a-Buddy: Most of us benefit from accountability partners. Co-workers, coaches, mentors, partners-in-crime. Tell people what you are working on. Give them permission to notice you practicing. This is going to increase your odds of getting feedback and make celebrating wins more fun.
- A Note for People Leaders — Coaches vs. Micromanagers: If you are a people leader, listen up! How you handle accountability, from your process to your vibe, will determine whether you are seen as a helpful coach or an irritating micromanager. A great first step — consider what tools of accountability are helpful to you, and then ask (gasp) what tools of accountability are helpful to your direct reports.
Learn to Love the Journey
This is the work of training yourself to love (or at least appreciate) the often mundane work of the journey.
- Embrace nuance. Almost everything can be framed as a “both-and” proposition.
- Set yourself up for success. Learn to set reasonable expectations.
- Celebrate the progress of little wins — for yourself and those around you.
- Acknowledge the work of wisdom of practice.
- Reframe setbacks as part of the process.
- Reframing. Period. Learn to reframe in a way that serves you and your goals.
- Hold yourself accountable and be kind to yourself.
- Enlist the support of people around you.
- Support the people around you.
- Assess your progress, and try again. And again. And again.
XO,
Anna
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