At The Human Solution, we always start from the assumption that people want to succeed. They want to do a good job. We are biologically programmed to avoid stress and discomfort. Failure is uncomfortable, and success feels good.
But let’s take our positivity bias one step further. We believe that (most) people want to do more than succeed. Most people want to be excellent. They want to excel. So why is it so hard to be great?!
Well, part of it is baked right into the vocabulary. Exceptional means above average, and by definition, average is most people. To be exceptional (at anything), you have to do something more or different than the average person. But here is the real kicker — likely, you have to do something more or different than the “average YOU.”
Early in my career, someone said to me, “If you want a life you have never had, you have to do the things you have never done.”
<Ooof> That is some real talk. It is a little mantra that comes back to me like an intense whisper whenever I feel stuck or bored or generally meh.
That is the thing about being a great leader. You can be really really good, and still avoid leaning into the discomfort that will tip you over into the territory of great.
You can work really really hard at bottom lines, efficiency, and productivity, and still be avoiding the uncomfortable interpersonal stuff that will make you great.
And what do we mean by great? What is our definition of a great leader? A great leader is someone who elevates systems and people. A person who gets shit done and inspires the people around them to be the best versions of themselves by modeling behavior, drive, resilience, and humility. Great leaders lean into the deeply uncomfortable work of understanding humans, including themselves. We could go on and on, but let’s get to some brass tacks.
Here are 10 things great leaders consistently lean into, even when it’s awkward, inconvenient, or wildly uncomfortable.
Read it like a checklist.
Cringe if you need to.
Then pick one and start today.
1. They ask questions and actually wait for the answers.
Most leaders fire off “How’s it going?” with barely a thought, and move on before anyone blinks. The great ones ask because they actually want to know the answer, pause to make space, and shut up long enough to hear the truth.
2. They give feedback like a coach, not a critic.
No unexplained dismissals. No “It’s fine” vagueness. No emotional landmines.
Just clear, direct, respectful, specific feedback that builds, not breaks.
3. They regulate their damn emotions.
If your team is walking on eggshells because you are an emotional roulette wheel…
You’re not leading. You’re leaking. You are a grown ass adult. Find the resources to get it together. Your team needs you to be emotionally reliable.
4. They make decisions without needing a standing ovation.
Sure, everyone likes affirmation, but great leaders aren’t addicted to external approval.
They look to internal validation and alignment first. They are grounded in values, not vibes.
5. They hold their boundaries and respect other people’s.
No, you don’t need to reply to emails at 9:41 PM, and no, you cannot provide the solution to everybody’s every problem. And no, Susan shouldn’t be pinged during vacation “just real quick,” because it is easier than getting the information from another source.
6. They own their mistakes out loud.
Not in a “oopsie lol” kind of way. Not in a deflecting kind of way.
In a “Here’s where I missed. Here’s how I’ll adjust. Do you see any other ways I can improve?” kind of way.
7. They say “I don’t know”—and mean it.
Pretending to know everything? Exhausting and, frankly, impossible.
Admitting you’re figuring it out? Communicating uncertainty and active problem-solving, rather than keeping people in the dark until you have a 100000% iron-clad solution. Relatable, powerful, human.
8. They mentor instead of micromanage.
Micromanaging is just control and fear of failure wearing a power suit. Detailed instructions, yes. Clear expectations, gold stars all around. Helicopter management with no room to breathe, ughhhhhh. Mentoring builds trust, autonomy, and actual capacity.
9. They notice emotional shifts before performance drops.
Your top performer seems off? The lunchtime kitchen vibe seems tense? A normally sunny team member is a little snippy? Great leaders are always taking the temperature. Great leaders check in. Not after the numbers dip or a team member goes off the rails—before.
10. They stay in the room when things get real.
Tension? Conflict? A tough 1:1? A potentially irritating conversation?
They don’t delegate it. They don’t ghost it.
They stay grounded and face it, they step into discomfort FIRST because that’s what leadership is.
If any of these made you squirm… good… interesting….
Be curious. That means that it is worth exploring.
Leadership isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about building the muscles to show up differently than you did last week.
XO,
Anna
